11 Signs You May be Dating a Sociopath

DATE FROM HELL: from the Puffington Post

Could that amazing new person you or a loved one is dating actually be a sociopath? It’s not as far-fetched as you might imagine. Roughly one in 25 Americans is a sociopath, according to Harvard psychologist Dr. Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door. 

Some traits of a person or two I know:

RED FLAG #2. Lying and exhibiting manipulative behavior.
Sociopaths use deceit and manipulation on a regular basis. Why? “Lying for the sake of lying. Lying just to see whether you can trick people. And sometimes telling larger lies to get larger effects,” Dr. Stout told Interview Magazine.

RED FLAG #6. Behaving irresponsibly or with extreme impulsivity.
Sociopaths bounce from goal to goal, and act on the spur of the moment, according to the DSM. They can be irresponsible when it comes to their finances and their obligations to other people.

RED FLAG #7. Having few friends.
Sociopaths tend not to have friends--not real ones, anyway. "Sociopaths don’t want friends, unless they need them. Or all of their friends are superficially connected with them, friends by association," psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg, author of the Human Magnet Syndrome, told The Huffington Post.

RED FLAG #8. Being charming--but only superfically.
Sociopaths can be very charismatic and friendly -- because they know it will help them get what they want. “They are expert con artists and always have a secret agenda,” Rosenberg said. "People are so amazed when they find that someone is a sociopath because they’re so amazingly effective at blending in. They’re masters of disguise. Their main tool to keep them from being discovered is a creation of an outer personality."

As M.E. Thomas described in a post for Psychology Today: "You would like me if you met me. I have the kind of smile that is common among television show characters and rare in real life, perfect in its sparkly teeth dimensions and ability to express pleasant invitation."

RED FLAG #9. Living by the "pleasure principle."
"If it feels good and they are able to avoid consequences, they will do it! They live their life in the fast lane -- to the extreme -- seeking stimulation, excitement and pleasure from wherever they can get it," Rosenberg wrote in Human Magnet Syndrome.

On Strike or Kicked Out?

This article by Dr. Helen Smith has been bugging me for a week since I read it.  She includes a letter written by a frustrated man in regards to dating:

I’m very similar to the men you talk about in your writings. I’m 46 years old, never married, no children. When people ask me about getting married I always give some glib answer about free milk and a cow or buying a house for a woman I hate. But it’s an excuse. I’m not boycotting marriage. A “boycott” is something voluntary. I will likely never get married because no woman will ever have me.

I’m not movie star handsome but I’m certainly not ugly. I work out regularly and am in pretty good shape. I have multiple college degrees. I own my own car and house. I have a full head of hair and teeth. I have no criminal record or STDs.

I think I’m decent relationship material. The women of America don’t seem to agree. It’s been almost 10 years since my last date. My lack of a romantic life isn’t for lack of trying, but no matter what I do I am rejected by women. I can’t even begin to express my frustration, confusion and loneliness to you, but that’s not why I wrote. Might there be a lot of men in my situation? I hear women complain “there are no good ones left”. I guess I’m not a “good one”. There might be a lot of decent guys that aren’t considered “good ones” by women.

Her responce to the letter is very insightful towards the writer's frustration

Yes, I do think women’s expectations are different now. It used to be that if a man was a decent guy, he could usually find a wife if he wanted to. Part of this, I think, is that women were expected to marry, now they are not and told that they are fine alone. Add to this the media, culture and educational system that tells them they don’t need men and the standards are high, especially for highly educated women. There seem to be different groups within the “men on strike” group. Those men who feel that they can’t compete and have simply bailed out, those who can compete but don’t want to marry because of the lack of incentives to do so such as loss of freedom, high expectations, and legal aspects of marriage and even those in-between who are simply sick of the whole system and living on their own terms. I do think that men who have been rejected over and over have simply gone on strike and no longer try at times.

I wouldn’t call them losers though. I would say that the dynamics and expectations for women have changed –and given women’s tendency to hypergamy, many men now do not measure up when they did so in the past.

Hypergamy reminds me of an article a few weeks ago about former supermodel Elle MacPherson getting married again. Her current husband is a billionaire, her former lover and father of her two children is a french multimillionaire. 

I do think that women's expectations haven't changed as much as have been skewed to almost unrealistic levels.  Based on the experiences of some male colleagues as well as my own,  it seems like most women have become gold digging snobs.  Being a good guy who earns a solid middle class living is not enough.  You are expected to provide a lifestyle that competes with the celebrity/faux celebrity set, like Kim Kardashian.

Hypergamy Update

Just married: Supermodel Elle Macpherson ‘ties the knot with billionaire Jeffrey Soffer in Fiji.’

Woman is finally jailed after FIVE false rape allegations against her ex-boyfriends in eight years

From the Daily Mail UK:

Her sentence? two years! ! ! ! !

Judge William Gaskell told the woman that her history of made-up rape claims had made it more difficult for genuine rape victims to be believed.

The judge seems to have neglected to think the most obvious victims — the men she falsely accused.

But just as the Narrative says that men can't really be Victims, so too does it say that women can't actually be Oppressors. So the penalty leveled against her is a small one -- she really can't be a criminal. She's a woman, and women don't lie about rape, and if they do, well, they must have had a pretty good reason to do so.

Bonnie Raitt -- telling about the end of a relationship

I have been making a point to really listen to the lyrics in music lately when I heard this old Bonnie Raitt tune today. She is relating the end of an one way relationship.

I can totally relate:

I Can't Make You Love Me

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Taylor Swift, she gets it

I know EXACTLY how she feels about Jake.


The emotional roller coaster being with someone who manipulates you, "It's Exhausting!!!"

Katy Perry -- Hot 'n' Cold

I never realized what the song was about till I saw the video.

It explains soooo many things, but remember, it's the girls who are hot 'n' cold.

I know way too many girls like this.