A
joke from Dan Mitchell:
But sometimes it’s just culture and attitude. Here’s a joke comparing
the two states, but it’s based on something that actually happened in
Texas.
CALIFORNIA:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 for testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $100,000 in state funds to implement a “coyote awareness” program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor’s security agents are fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California: $250,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training RE: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the State.
TEXAS:
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out, bites the Governor’s leather boot, and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $1.00 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
It's basically a variant of this joke:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, praises Allah, screams "Allahu Akbar", raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a pistol, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What
do you do?
....................................................................
Democrat's Answer:
1.) Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
2.) Does the man look poor!
3.) Or oppressed?
4.) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
5.) Could we run away?
6.) What does my wife think?
7.) What about the kids?
8.) Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
9.) What does the law say about this situation?
10.) Does the my pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
11.) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway?
12.) What kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
13.) Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
14.) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
15.) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
16.) Should I call 911?
17.) Why is this street so deserted?
18.) We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
...................................................................
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
....................................................................
Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
................(sounds of reloading.)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Speer Gold Dots?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one?"
"Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"
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